Night Feedings are a trip

Sometimes my brain can't decide if it's awake or asleep. I used to sleepwalk as a kid. I'd fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the recliner. Or start in my bed and end up downstairs.

Eventually I grew out of it and got really spoiled for a few years on what it meant to get all my sleep in one big chunk. Recently we brought home a trial version of a tiny human and I've gotten acquainted with interrupted sleep. It's a shock when he starts crying and you experience the jolt of going from the land of super powers to poopy diapers. Sometimes my consciousness doesn't pick a side.

The latest time was last night when I got up around 3AM to give the L-Man his Nighttime Deluxe: bottle, diaper, back to bed. He was finishing up his bottle (which was only a half portion because of the illness) when he starts screaming for more. I'm sitting there, wide awake, and for some reason I had it in my head that he was a Baby Lawyer and we were in court where he was prosecuting a case. I know he wants more juice but I have to give it to him from the Evidence compartment which doesn't actually exist. I'm not moving because I don't know what button to push to select the juice from the Evidence category. I know I can just fill his bottle back up in the bathroom like normal but he'll be mad because I'm blowing his case!

All of a sudden I'm rescued by a crack of logic: babies can't be lawyers! I have this conversation with myself and realize that no baby can make it through law school at this age and they wouldn't be a baby when they are done. Plus, who would hire a baby to try their case?!?! They can't even talk yet! You can't convince a jury with just smiles and uncoordinated flailing!

I start to guess that I'm really just crazy but I still feel uneasy as I fill up his bottle and give it to him. To clarify, I wasn't sleepwalking. I was wide awake but my brain had its worlds colliding.

Logan got me back for all this by not going back to sleep until 4:30 AM.