Tuesday, August 14, 2012

ch ch ch changes

January is coming early in the McKenna household.  Not because it has spontaneously snowed outside, but because I am putting my foot down, making a resolution, and freaking sticking to it.  There have been some big changes and there are going to be more darn it! 

Most of our close friends know this, and I'm ok with sharing it on the blog.  Andy and I found out I was pregnant on June 8th.  We had only been trying for 3 months and were ecstatic that it happened so quickly again.  We told some close friends, and were pretty much biting our nails to make it facebook official after my appointment on July 23.  I came home from the appointment shaking my head "no" and crying on Andy's shoulder telling him that I had miscarried.  I had a feeling for awhile.  There had been some bleeding, but the nurses had said it was probably old blood and was normal, but I knew something wasn't right.  So, we shed our tears, and then I realized that I better get my butt in gear and start working out because I simply couldn't fit into my pants without using a bella band or a hair tie around the button.

I know that many people are upset for weeks, months, or maybe longer because of a miscarriage.  For some reason (and you may think I am a horrible person because of it), I had my initial cry and then I was ok.  I never heard a heartbeat.  There was no baby in my stomach to see on the ultrasound.  I think it made it easier for me.  And I've been using working out as a positive way to deal with the stress or sadness I have been feeling.  I immediately got on the elliptical that night and started the couch to 5 k program.  I also joined a weight loss support group and started counting calories. 

I have set a goal that I WILL run a 5 k.  It might not be this year, since we do want to get pregnant again, and I don't know if I would be able to run that far while having a baby in my belly, but it will happen.  It's amazing how something can happen and it forces you to make a huge change in your life.  I think this was what forced my change.

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