I need a drink

The stress is starting to hit me.  I'm always fine for the first part of my professional development week, and then it all of a sudden hits me.  Today was my day for the hitting.

We were finally allowed into our classrooms today and I just sat there for a moment not knowing what to do.  I'm completely re-organizing my room this year, there are more kids, and I get a roommate.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm fine with all of those things.  I'm just a little unsure of where to start.

The to-do lists have definitely started, shopping for the room is happening everyday, figuring out storage is keeping me up at night, and craftiness is all up in this business.  On the bright side, lessons plans are pretty much DONE.  One less thing to worry about I suppose.

Here's to a weekend full of organization and wine...lots of wine.

The dreaded day is here

Summer is officially over.  Today was my first day back to school, thankfully no kids yet.  I still need to ease into that.  It was also Logan's first day back to daycare.  Andy and I were a little worried that he would be upset about going back, but the report I got this morning was as follows: "He saw the school, ran inside, I had just enough time to take his jacket off and he took off for the toys."  He may have gotten a "Bye Daddy" somewhere in there, but I'm not sure.  The teachers were excited to see him, he was excited to see his friends, unfortunately, I'm not excited to start paying them again, but that's life.  I'm crossing my fingers that they will perform magic and get him potty trained.  Like, a lot of magic.

To end our crazy, eventful, sometimes unhappy summer, we celebrated by watching one of my very best friends get married.   I absolutely adore my friend Lauren.  We met in college while aimlessly gossiping about a horribly drunk girl dancing at a party and have been friends ever since.  She is the most blatantly honest person I know, hilarious story teller, and someone I will always go to with a problem or just to vent.  Her father was actually our officiant when Andy and I got married, so it was nice to see him, introduce him to our son, and watch him declare Lauren and Matt husband and wife.  Here's a big face picture from our fun night, along with my two little hotties I had as dates:

Happy end of summer :(

ch ch ch changes

January is coming early in the McKenna household.  Not because it has spontaneously snowed outside, but because I am putting my foot down, making a resolution, and freaking sticking to it.  There have been some big changes and there are going to be more darn it! 

Most of our close friends know this, and I'm ok with sharing it on the blog.  Andy and I found out I was pregnant on June 8th.  We had only been trying for 3 months and were ecstatic that it happened so quickly again.  We told some close friends, and were pretty much biting our nails to make it facebook official after my appointment on July 23.  I came home from the appointment shaking my head "no" and crying on Andy's shoulder telling him that I had miscarried.  I had a feeling for awhile.  There had been some bleeding, but the nurses had said it was probably old blood and was normal, but I knew something wasn't right.  So, we shed our tears, and then I realized that I better get my butt in gear and start working out because I simply couldn't fit into my pants without using a bella band or a hair tie around the button.

I know that many people are upset for weeks, months, or maybe longer because of a miscarriage.  For some reason (and you may think I am a horrible person because of it), I had my initial cry and then I was ok.  I never heard a heartbeat.  There was no baby in my stomach to see on the ultrasound.  I think it made it easier for me.  And I've been using working out as a positive way to deal with the stress or sadness I have been feeling.  I immediately got on the elliptical that night and started the couch to 5 k program.  I also joined a weight loss support group and started counting calories. 

I have set a goal that I WILL run a 5 k.  It might not be this year, since we do want to get pregnant again, and I don't know if I would be able to run that far while having a baby in my belly, but it will happen.  It's amazing how something can happen and it forces you to make a huge change in your life.  I think this was what forced my change.

T minus 24 days

No, I am not counting down the days until school ends (that would be 21 days, just in case you were wondering).  I am counting down the days until I am back in the insanely hot weather of Arizona to visit my much missed friends.  I am beyond excited.  I don't think they realize how excited I am really.  I think I may have been counting this down since the first day we moved back here. 

Please, don't misunderstand this excitement.  I am NOT excited to actually be in Arizona.  Just to see my friends.  Completely different things.  But, I can't think of a better way to start off my vacay.  Hopefully I won't cry when I leave!

Happy last day of school to my AZ pals.  I only have 4 more weeks....blah.  I suppose the bright side is that we're down to one month. The countdown begins.

I'm back...hopefully

You know, this blogging this is harder than  I thought.  I think I need a weekly reminder to get online and a write a little.  Maybe I'll put it on my google calendar.  Basically, life is busy, blogging takes a backseat.  So, here's a bit of an update:

• I have a little over 5 weeks of school left.  This is killing me, since I know my AZ peeps only have, lets see...one!  I can do this though.
• I think we have passed through phase one of the terrible two's.  I know there will be more, but that first phase was a killer.  There was screaming, fit throwing, laying on the ground kicking, the whole nine yards. Every. Day.  It's gotten better, let's hope it stays that way.
• The weather is getting sooooo nice and that means our trips to the park and playing outside is happening more and more.  LOVE!
• Logan is the smartest little guy.  We feel so lucky to have his daycare teachers telling us that he is excelling over the others in class and has shown so much growth in their room.  He can count to ten, count in Spanish, next we'll move to Chinese ::joking::
• We resigned our lease in our house.  Hard to believe we've been back in the mitten for almost a year.  And we've loved every minute of it.
• AZ trip is coming up...I'm so excited!!!!  I'm missing my AZ girls a ton and can't wait to catch up with them and their little ones.

Until the next time I remember to update...

Snow!

I will gladly kiss the feet of whoever invented snow days. Now, I love children, I love my job, teaching is my passion...however, there are a few perks to the profession that I'm guilty for also loving: summers off and SNOW DAYS!

Friday was the first snow day of my teaching career. While teaching in Arizona I would painfully watch the updates of my teacher friends back in Michigan as they joyfully bragged about their snow days. Days when you wake up, rubbing your sleepy eyes, thinking about the tasks of the day...only to be surprised with the news that you have a day off. Without having to get sub plans around. This is the kicker my friends. Thursday night I went to sleep with my fingers and toes crossed, hoping that perhaps I would be lucky enough to get a snow day. However, looking at the little wisps of snow falling outside my window, I knew I was truly dreaming.

Friday morning I awoke extra early, just in case of snowy roads. I jumped ::dragged my butt:: into the shower, warmed my cold cold bones, and proceeded to get ready for the day. The entire time I was complaining. You see, Kalamazoo had school off, and in my mind this was not fair. I deserved a snow day. I needed a break, my week was stressful, I don't even get MLK day off! Andy sat in the shower laughing at me as I dried my hair, straightened it, and began walking off to wake up the monster we call Logan. All of sudden I heard the sweet ringing of a telephone. Who could be calling before 6 in the morning? Why my school of course, letting me know that I was a blessed teacher that would be partaking in a wonderful Friday snow day (the best kind there is by the way). Like a little kid, I began jumping up and down screaming, dancing, acting a fool. Yes friends, I Rachel McKenna, an adult, was probably more excited that the kids in my class for this snow day.

The following occurred on this magical day: I cleaned NOTHING, Logan and I went sledding, we fell in the snow, we made snow angels. The movies Cars, Cars 2, The Little Mermaid, Toy Story 1 and 2 were watched throughout the day. There was also some hide and seek played, tickle wars, and dinosaur sandwiches made. It was a perfectly magnificent snow day.

Now, let's cross our fingers and toes and hope this happens again this week..and perhaps the next also.

1 more month

The day is slowly creeping up on us. February 9th, the day in which I will be the mother of a....2 year old ::shudder::. A mixture of fear and sadness has built up inside of me. First of all, let me tell you that Logan has the terrible two's down to a science, yet he's still not two. Does this mean that the terrible two's will be even more horrible than the last month of his life? I'm not sure if I can handle this. I do take some blame for trying to move him up to a big boy bed. That was a FAIL. Sleeping through the night was gone, taking naps was gone. Logan: 1, Mommy and Daddy: 0. However, the rest of the brattiness is on him. Normally I will ask him a question and I get, "NO!!". Please pretend you hear this with the attitude of a 13 year old girl, because that is exactly what it sounds like. Yet I still want a girl...

The sadness does linger inside of me though. Sometimes I will look at his baby pictures and realize that he used to be so very small. I could cradle him in my arms. He fit on his changing table. He's such a big boy now. He's independent. He has an ENORMOUS vocabulary (without any swear words thank you! I had to cut some out of my own). He knows some numbers, some letters, colors, shapes. Basically he's a genius. I know that he's going to start having his own hobbies soon...ones that include cars, and sports, and all things non-mommy. I'm still trying to push in the arts and crafts, perhaps a little dancing, dress up, maybe a tea party? And the next thing you know he'll be 18 and moving out, and then getting married...things just need to slow down.

For now, I'm thankful for this:

Magical

Hands down, Christmas is WAY more fun when you have children. Last year Logan was too young to be feeling the whole Christmas thing, but this year was totally different. He loved meeting Santa. He actually opened presents. He baked and decorated cookies with me. His eyes lit up on Christmas morning. Absolutely perfect. To top things off, we were able to wake up in our own house on Christmas. The cherry on the top for me this year was that I have a mantel to hang our stockings from. I know I'm a dork for getting so excited about this.






Andy I joked that since we've moved back to Michigan, the weather has been peculiarly warm for winter. We didn't have a white Christmas, and there have been no school closing for me yet. However, it did snow the weekend before I went back to school and Logan took part in his first ever sledding adventure. For those that don't know, Logan did not take to snow very well last year. In fact, he face planted in it and screamed. This year he couldn't wait to get his snowpants on and ran outside to jump in the fluffy white stuff. We sledded down the hills in our backyard and had a good old fashioned McKenna snowball fight. This may have been his favorite part.

Although I'm still missing all of my friends that I left behind in AZ (A LOT!), Andy and I talk daily about how this move was right for us and it's proven with every new experience we've had in the short 6 months we've been back.

Thankful

The McKenna family has a lot to be thankful for this year. In the past, Thanksgiving wasn't really a highly celebrated holiday in our house. We didn't have the money or time to travel home, so we usually just stopped into Boston Market and picked up dinner (which is actually pretty good). This year...completely different. It's amazing to be a part of both of our amazing families. I'm thankful that Logan has been able to get to know both sets of his grandparents this year. He is constantly asking for them and gets so excited to see them, I love it. I'm thankful that Andy and I both have jobs doing what we love. This is a miracle in many ways, especially for my profession. I'm thankful that our little family has found a new town to call home. I'm thankful to be reunited with friends from my past that I have missed so dearly and can now see on a more regular basis, as well as staying in touch with those that I miss in the desert. I'm thankful for all the support Andy has given me this year. Did you know that moving is really stressful? And trying to find a job? I'm thankful for all the memories we've been able to make with our families in the short time we've been back in the mitten. I may complain about being busy all the time, but I secretly love getting together with both sides and catching up on all the activities we've missed out on. I'm thankful for an adorable son that amazes me every day. We can't help laughing when we see little bits of ourselves jump out from him. I'm thankful that this Thanksgiving, we weren't just driving to Boston Market and picking up our dinner, but spending time with the family we have missed.

Andy and I have officially decided that we LOVE this phase of Logan's life. It's perfect. No longer does he scream for things that he wants, he actually has mini conversations with us. Love it! Everyday, I pick him up, he screams "Mommy!", and then immediately says, "Daddy, now". Adorable. He tells us when he wants to go outside, when he wants a snack, when he wants more of something and what it might be (also I might add, he signs "more" and "please". Genius). He actually helps pick his toys up, and he loves learning new things. I caught him walking backwards today because he saw me doing it. Best of all, he enjoys going to bed at night. He tells us "lu loo, ni ni Mama" and lays sweetly in bed. Ahh, I want him to be this age forever. Can we just push the pause button?

Exhaustion has set in

It's official. I am a teacher. I mean, yes, I landed myself a job with my stunning teaching skills and have actually starting planting information into the heads of little second graders, but the exhaustion did not set in...until this week. You're not actually a teacher until this happens. I had been going through my days as a happy go lucky Rachel. Spending my nights grading a few papers, watching all my new TV shows from the fall season. Having a jolly good time. But, slowly but surely, the needing of naps started, the up late writing lesson plans, bringing home piles and piles of work to grade. All that jazz. Sigh.

So, with that tremendous amount of complaining out of the way, I can't happily say that it is 9:38 pm and I am finished with all of my lesson plans for next week, I've typed up spelling words, and all papers are corrected. Yet...I'm trying to find something else to do that relates to school. Addiction? I think so.

Also, my birthday is tomorrow. I'm way old. Way close to 30. Need way more presents because of this.

This weekend was perfect. I really can't think of anything I would change. On Friday, we met my in-laws in Kalamazoo to do the trade off for Logan's first sleepover weekend at their house. Andy and I realized we would need to be quick about this, in case they realized 10 minutes away that they made a mistake. Apparently he was good, so they decided to keep their plans with him :) While he was there, he went to see his Nana's horse, went to a birthday party, and was simply spoiled by his grandparents. This is why we moved back to Michigan.

Andy and I, however, did what any other married adults would do when their children are away....slept in. Get your mind out of the gutters people, I know what you were thinking. Sleeping is my favorite hobby. I love to sleep in until double digits, meaning at least 10 am, and I did. Two times this weekend. Pure bliss. We also had a huge date day on Saturday.

After getting dressed at oh, about 1 pm, we headed out to lunch at a place where Logan would never eat because they don't have a kids menu. Then, off to AJ's family fun center, where we played Putt-putt. Pretty nerdy, but Logan's not old enough to do this yet, so we took advantage of our time. I lost (even after I cheated), and then gave up on air hockey because I was sick of losing against Andy. Basically I'm a sore loser. We then headed over to the movie theater and took in a flick. Afterwards, another restaurant for dinner. Ahh, the joy of not having a bedtime that we had to stick to.

Today, we headed up (over?) to Kalamazoo to do another swap and take the babe back. I'll admit, I kind of missed him. Since we were already in Kalamzoo, we decided to head over to the Kalamazoo Valley Museum, because it's free. They've added a way cool kids room and Logan LOVED it. We then left the museum and took a stroll on WMU's campus. Andy and I had fun talking about all of the places we had classes, the memories we had together, and then pretty much gawked at all the changes they've made since we were gone. The most notable change was the lack of Andy's old apartment building. Apparently there was a fire 2 years ago and his building is gone. Vanished. I think he was pretty stunned. Logan had a ball walking around campus, trying to climb the stairs, and of course taking in the sights of what will be his future college. Not that I'm pushing him into anything...

So, once again, perfect. Days like this remind me of why I love living in Michigan. I love being able to take a short drive to where Andy and I met and have so many memories together. I love being able to share stories about the times we visiting certain places together. Perfect.

Oh my, I had forgotten how completely draining school training is. The last two weeks have been a bit of a blur, but in a good way. Being in a school that is K-12 is very different than K-8. Some of the trainings didn't make much sense to me, but then I realized what they were talking about was directed to the high school and not the elementary. I almost feel as if I'm starting my first year of teaching all over again, not knowing as much about the curriculum and the general list of things I am expected to complete. I've come to the realization that a lot of my lesson plans won't be used again, mostly because they were on the smart board and I don't have one in my room (which is surprisingly kind of nice). However, I've also come to the realization that I will have about half the number of students that I'm used to having. I'm not sure what it will feel like to work with 18 students everyday instead of the usual 25+ that I had in AZ. Right now it's hard to contain the excitement!

I have to admit that the best part of these two weeks is being able to meet other teachers that I can call friends. I've felt pretty lonely in GR, and I know that Andy feels the same way since he doesn't have any colleagues to talk to during his work day. It's been so nice meeting people, seeing what we have in common, and just enjoying other adults (yes, I know that I've been around Andy all summer and I love him, but sometimes I just need to talk to a different adult). My second favorite thing: getting back into the classroom and unpacking all my junk. Yes, I know, I'm strange, but I do like to organize and unpack for the upcoming year. Packing it back up at the end of the year is another story.

So, my room is completely organized ::for now::, my lessons are done for the week, and my copies are ready to be handed out. Watch out GR, Mrs. McKenna is back!

Finally!

After two and a half months of looking online EVERYDAY, applying to jobs (even those I didn't want) like crazy, and getting lucky enough to go to a few interviews...I was offered a position! I am once again a 2nd grade teacher. Andy and I basically watched the phone all day Thursday, being told I would hear back from the school I interviewed at, but there was no call. Then, early Friday morning it came and lots of screaming/jumping/phone call ensued. My mom was actually visiting and Andy was out of town, so it was nice to be able to celebrate with someone. I literally feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

So, the next week will be filled with daycare hunting for Logan, and hopefully some decorating in my classroom. I have one week left of vacation, and then I am a working girl. I'm just glad that I can now uncross my fingers...and toes.

Bored

Apparently when you are on a budget and you don't have lesson plans to make, you become bored. I'm simply not used to having so much time on the weekends and I've found myself slipping into boredom. It probably doesn't help that our plans were squashed this weekend because of the rain. I'm so used to not having enough time to get to things I like, that now, the thought of doing those things kind of bores me. I know, I don't make sense.

I've spent the entire weekend renting movies from redbox, searching for instant videos on Netflix, and watching tivo'd shows that I've recorded. Beverly Hills 90210 has been my favorite so far. I had an inkling of a thought to finish up some of my scrapbooks, but that seemed to take more energy than I was willing to give. Another thought came to clean the bathrooms. That didn't happen. So, I finally gave into my boredom and worked out. Yeah, I know, craziness. Hopefully this slump goes away soon.

Love

It's so easy to remember the planning of our wedding. Hunting online to find the best deals to fit our VERY small budget. Sitting in the living room with our crappy printer and so carefully printing up each and every invitation on vellum, making sure I didn't touch it so as not to smear. Going dress shopping and finding the perfect dress and hoping that you would love it just as much as I did. And of course choosing the vows that expressed exactly how we felt about one another.

Four years ago today I married the most wonderful man I have ever met. He's the perfect mixture of nerdy and charming and he's my best friend. I am so lucky to have met someone that would literally change his life to be with me. He has moved across the country with me (twice), held my hand during MS struggles, helped me make a handsome little man, and finished off each night telling me "I love you". I feel very lucky to be living the life that I have and even more lucky that I get to share it with my husband. Happy Anniversary Andy!

Warning!

Before you start reading, I will come right out and say that this is not going to be a happy go lucky post. I'm in a blah mood, therefore you will be getting a blah post. But I promise I'll try to throw in a new and improved picture of Logan at the end.

I, Rachel McKenna, am going to finally admit that I miss Arizona. Bits of it, not the whole thing. I miss my friends, A LOT. And I do miss our really small and cramped house, minus the scorpions that stung me. Also, it would be nice to jump into a pool that is just down the road from me, even if it did feel like bath water. Most of all, I miss my school. Today all of my AZ teacher friends are getting up extra early to go into work and greet one another, share what they did over summer break, and gear up for another school year. One that starts next week, which is crazy to me. I love how the beginning of the school year is another fresh start with a new set of students that I get to know and love. It's just such a strange feeling to go into Target and to not look for sales on wide ruled notebooks, folders, crayons, glue, etc. I really think this no teaching thing is getting me into a depressive state. My kid can only do so many funny things during the day, I need new material that I can share with Andy from my classroom.

So, now that I have admitted the ugly truth about missing AZ, here is the promised picture of Logan. Enjoy!

Thank Goodness!

We finally have a little bit of good news...the sale of our house is closing tomorrow! It's been such a pain to have to wait for this, and then to leave Arizona without the sale being complete. Our credit with take a bit of a blow with the short sale, but we'll build it back up by the time we want to buy again. It's a nice weight lifted off our shoulders.

Job hunt 2011 still continues. I've found a few jobs out there, but have now resorted to filling out applications for paraprofessional positions. As long as I'm working with students in a school, I know I'll be happy. Hopefully being a parapro would open up the doors to actual teaching positions in the future if I don't get one this summer. It really is depressing though. I feel like I'm taking a huge step backwards in my career. I've worked so hard to build up my resume, but it didn't seem to work. ::sigh:: I am currently working on staying positive. Kind of difficult, I'm not gonna lie.

Bad news...

I didn't get the job. Blah. Onto more applications.